Your Ex Boyfriend Still Calls and Texts - Does He Want You Back?
When is a breakup really a breakup? If your ex boyfriend keeps calling you, does he want you back... or is he just looking to stay friends?
Breaking up with someone is usually the end, or at least it starts out that way. But what happens when your ex boyfriend keeps calling even after the relationship ended? Is it okay to be friends with your ex after the break up, or is he looking for something a little bit more?
How you handle any post-breakup contact with your ex should be based upon what you yourself are looking for. If you're truly done with dating this guy, breaking all ties is usually the best way to go.
Even though you think you might be able to maintain a friendship even after the breakup, eventually each of you will move on to dating some else. Once that happens, your new boyfriend (or his new girlfriend) won't be too crazy about the prospect of your little "friendship".
That being said, what if you're still in love with your ex? Is it a good sign that your boyfriend is still calling, and can you use this type of contact to get him back?
In short, yes. Whenever a guy is still communicating with you after the breakup, it's a big sign of definite interest. And if he's the one initiating the contact? That's even better.
An ex who calls or text-messages you post-relationship is looking to keep you in his life. He may even be having second thoughts about the break up. Even if he's not yet ready to jump back into a full-blown relationship, he's also not ready to lose you for good. So in an effort to keep you interested (and keep updated on the status of your single life), your ex boyfriend will call and email you with day-to-day small talk.
Most times, a guy will continue this activity under the convenient guise of friendship. His little "I don't see why we can't still be friends" speech should be considered for exactly what it is: a lame excuse to keep in touch with you. Your ex is looking to have his cake and eat it too: he wants the freedom of being single (and possibly even dating other girls) while still having the security of knowing where you are, and what you're doing. And if your boyfriend suspects that you still love him and want him back? That's an even more comfortable situation for him.
In fact, the more comfortable your ex boyfriend becomes in this scenario, the longer it will be before he ever wants you again. By staying in touch and answering his calls, you're actually prolonging your break up. Your ex has absolutely no incentive to get back together with you, because on many levels he already is. He's got the companionship of being able to talk you, and the comfort of knowing what you're up to. And while he's got those two things, you'll never win your boyfriend back.
Friendship with your ex boyfriend doesn't benefit you at all, if you're looking to get him back. Even worse, the longer you stay friends, the more difficult the transition back to a romantic couple becomes. What you're doing is essentially giving your ex a nice little safety net while he test-drives his single life. He knows that you're sweating him, and that he can get you back whenever he wants.
So what does it mean when your ex boyfriend keeps calling you? It means you're pretty much in charge. If you want your ex back, now's the time to seize control over the situation by breaking that contact. Stop answering his calls, drop off the face of the Earth for a little while, and disappear from your exboyfriend's life completely. When you can do this, you're suddenly pushing him out of his little comfort zone. You're forcing your ex to see what he's losing, and making him miss having you around. Faced with the choice of losing you or taking you back, an ex boyfriend who still loves you will start getting serious about your relationship again.
Never accept some half-assed romance where you become nothing but an occasional phone call. If you want to someday date your ex again, you need to be proactive and actually do something about it.
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