How To Get Your Girlfriend Back When She Catches You Cheating
One of the hardest break ups to fix is one involving infidelity. If you cheated on your girlfriend and want her back, the road is twice as long as it would be had you not been unfaithful.
Winning back your ex after she's caught you with another girl can be accomplished, but it's definitely not going to happen overnight. Below are some basic guidelines to get you started on fixing this messy situation.
Understand first that you'll need to take many small steps toward getting your ex back after cheating is involved. Upon learning that you've slept with someone else, your girlfriend is going to see you in a strange new way. She'll feel differently about you, and about your relationship. Her emotions might go from feeling totally defeated and withdrawn to showing extreme rage or anger toward you. Men who cheated and expect things to eventually go back to normal are in for a rude awakening. Your relationship as you know it is over, and if you want your ex back you'll need to work together to build a new one from scratch.
But first you'll need to get your girlfriend back. Here's how you go about doing that:
Don't Fight The Breakup - Go With The Flow
Chances are your girlfriend's going to break up with you right after she finds out you've cheated. When this goes down, you need to let it happen. Nothing you can say right now will convince her to keep you around - she needs to cut you loose completely before she can ever consider dating you again. Don't beg or plead, and don't promise her anything in order to keep your relationship together. The best you can do is offer a heartfelt apology, take whatever she throws at you (literally, in some cases), and back away slowly. If you try to minimize or downplay your cheating, she's going to remember it later on and take it as a sign that you're not accepting full responsibility for your affair. If you try to fight her on the break up, she's going to hate you for giving her grief during this really bad time. Let things go.
Give Her Time Alone With Her Own Thoughts
This step is almost identical for anyone trying to win back a girlfriend, whether there's cheating involved or not. Dropping out of sight for a while gives your ex time to reconcile your unfaithfulness and decide to what extent she wants to do do something about it. During this process you don't want to be around.
The more you can make your ex miss you, the greater your chances of getting her back. Being on the end of a phone, an email, or a text-message shows your ex how desperate you are. It also gives her reason to continue to punish you, because you're extending your apology way past where it ought to be. Although you were wrong, now's not the time to apologize to your ex. The best thing you can do here is make yourself suddenly very scarce.
And believe it or not? There's a huge part of your ex's psyche that wants to forgive you. Your girlfriend was forced to break up with you due to cheating: she didn't opt out of the relationship for any other reason. In this respect, she wasn't ready to let go. A big part of her still loves you, and that's the same part of her currently looking for legitimate excuses to take you back.
By leaving her alone you're giving your ex time to sort things out in her own head. You're giving her time to re-evaluate the situation while not angry, simply because you're not there to vent her anger onto. This is always a good thing, because it allows her to deal with the situation rather than rage against it.
Lay Low and Be Good - Staying on Your Best Behavior
As your ex tries to get over the fact that you cheated, she's going to be watching what you do more than ever. Be on your best behavior here. Now's not the time for that wild guys' night out. If she sees or hears about you smiling, laughing, and living it up without her, you're effectively doubling the amount of time it will take to get back together with your exgirlfriend.
Right now she wants to see you humble and subdued. She wants to think you miss her, and that you're miserable without her. I'm not saying ham it up for her benefit, but it would do good to keep a low profile for a few weeks. Don't contact your ex, but don't put yourself in any situations that would make your ex-girlfriend jealous either. If and when she calls you, it'll go a long way toward making your ex want you back if you're not in the middle of a noisy club or bar.
Damage control right after you've cheated on your girlfriend is essential. The sooner you can get started on these things, the better your chances of fixing your break up. Going out with your ex again requires her to want you back. Building a long-term relationship after cheating requires getting her to forgive you.
These things are tough to accomplish - your ex will always remember your affair and it will take a long time to rebuild her trust. Still, it can be done. With the some good advice, and by making the right moves at the right time, you can and will get back together with your ex - even after cheating.
These are just the initial steps to winning back your girlfriend after an affair.
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